With a Little Help from my Friends

Barron - my friend
Barron has been around all through the illness and my journey since. He is an agent for artists so we talk much about music now and of music of the "golden era" '68 - '75. I go watch his band play at a bar-b-que and jive to the blues. Barron is one of the friends who have been a great support for me this year.

Anniversaries
It's starting - the anniversaries. This week marks the first anniversary of Trudie's first doctor appointment. The blood tests came back and the doctor said "there's something wrong with these numbers." - no kidding.

Good Grief
One of the things that was suggested to me when I first started this grief journey was to go to the Grief Share web site. I did and signed up for their e-mails. They send out a daily e-mail of encouragement to us going through this process.

Yesterday's message said in part:

Good grief is accepting the fact that your loved one has died, accepting the sorrow and pain, and knowing there is more to come. Good grief is getting through the days, the months, and, eventually, through the years.
...
Your life will never be the same again, but you will get through the grief. The grieving process is a transition into your new life.

"He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age" (Ruth 4:15).


This really resonated with me. I'm still in the middle of the grieving process. It's not easy. But, I will survive and eventually move on.

Avery Visit

Avery Visit

Avery visited last week for a few days. But what she got done was so helpful. She went through the studio and got a lot of the cloth-for-the-millennium out of there. She also found her old baby book which we feared was lost.

Avery also showed me her phone which a treasure trove of Gracie photos. I got her to send me the one to the left. She is so cute!

Avery posts the latest Gracie story on her blog at The Blig on Live Journal.

Grave Marker

I had finally ordered Trudie's grave marker last month and they sent me notification that they had delivered it.

I went by on Saturday to see it. It's the first time I had been able to get up the gumption to go there. I couldn't find it at first so I had to ask at the office but the nice man led me right to it.

It's been a sad time for me. I'm leaning hard on Jesus the last couple of weeks. I know this is part of the normal grieving process and I'm glad I'm going THROUGH it and not around it. But it is not easy. "This too shall pass."

Bosnia

Most of you know that on July 26th our team leaves for Bosnia. We will be updating the Bosnia Youth Festival '08 blog to let you know how we are doing. Put your e-mail address in the side-box and you'll get updates to your e-mail.

What's been going on...

Yea, yea, yea...

I know. I haven't posted anything in a L*O*N*G time. Like everyone else "... I've been busy ..."

And it continues...

This weekend I'm doing 24 (See NPCC Production).
[Update: The videos are HERE. We did the one “Space Colony M301″ (Gladiator as Sci-Fi).]
Next weekend I'm shooting video of a good friend son's wedding.
The weekend after that I'm going to Pittsburg, PA with friends for a convention.

Then I have a weekend with nothing planned [how did that happen? Let's see how I can fix it :-}].

Then I have a local gathering of friends.
And then the weekend after that we take off for Bosnia.
The weekend after that we come back from Bosnia.
The weekend after that I have another gathering of friends in Macon.

Did I say I was busy???

Charleston

In May, a very good friend Tim and I went to Charleston, SC. We did the guy-thing and went the Patriot's Point where they have the Navy ships. Tim and I climbed all over the aircraft carrier and the WWII destroyer.

We had a great time together.



I gotta run I got to be in Buckhead in about an hour...

Bosnia Youth Festival Mission Trip

Short Term Mission Trip

I'm going on a short term mission trip to Bosnia. We leave July 27th and return on Aug 5th.

Read all about our team on the blog we've setup:
http://bosyoufes08.blogspot.com/

We will be posting things along the way and while we are there. You can subscribe to that blog and get e-mailed when we've added new postings.

Mossy Creek Spring '08

Mossy Creek with Avery

Avery was offered her mother's old spot at Mossy Creek and she gratefully accepted it. I spent all of Saturday there and most of Sunday with her. I wanted to be there to speak with the customers who hadn't heard the news. It turned out to be more of a grief-processing weekend for me than I had anticipated. I was able to be sad about a number of things surrounding the show, the lack of my sweetie, a number of the old-time exhibitors who are no longer there, and others. I'm very glad I went even though it was hard.



Remaining Dolls

I also wanted to pick people's brains about what to do with the few (approx. 20) dolls that are unsold. I want to honor Trudie and her faithful customers in where they go. I got some good thoughts from a number of people. I'll mull it over and let God let me know when the time is right for a decision.



Springtime in Roswell

Everything is in bloom and pretty. (sarcasm) Oh boy, yet another opportunity to grieve. (end of sarcasm). The flower beds are a mess. Weeds are sprouting up everywhere and I am not a happy weeder. And the flowers popping up (all on their own) are really pretty. And it all is yet another reminder of Trudie.


Mission Trip

The newest adventure for me is that I've signed up for a mission trip with my church. Our team is meeting to plan out what we will do for the festival. We will have several meetings including a retreat before we go on July 27th.

I'm looking for some people who would be willing to be a prayer partner or a financial support partner. Send prayers to - well you know where. Send financial support to me. We have to turn in our money as a team. Make the check out to "North Point Missions" and my address is:

4911 Sturbridge Cres. NE
Roswell, GA 30075

Spring has Sprung

The First Bloom

A couple of weeks ago I took this photo of the first bloom of Spring. It's from daffodils that we got from our parent's home in Oak Ridge many years ago. Trudie transplanted them to Columbia and then moved them here.

Since then, many more flowers are starting to show their colors. Trudie loved her flowers.



Vacation

I took a vacation last weekend. I flew down to visit Ralph and Valerie for a long weekend. I drove over to Kennedy Space Center and toured the place with some cousins. We were very lucky because we got to see the shuttle Endeavour sitting on the launch pad awaiting it's liftoff a couple of days later. I won't mention their names because one of the them had to call in "sick" to come up for the day. Here's a link to my web album.

I later got to visit with my Aunt Dot whom I hadn't seen in many, many years.

Then on Saturday, Ralph, Valerie, and I went to see a spring training baseball game. The Braves played the Houston Astros. The Braves didn't win but we had fun anyway.

Continuing

I'm keeping busy. I'm taking one day at a time. I am learning how to have fun. I'm serving at church a lot. Every once in a while I'll get ambushed by something that reminds me of a good time with Trudie and I'll be sad. But for the most part, I'm just doing what is the next-right-thing and leaving the rest to God.

Three Months Ago

Anniversary

Today, 2/22, is the three month anniversary of the night Trudie died. I've been very sad this morning. I'm again grieving that the light of my life is now dark. The weather today is chilly and gloomy to boot (39 degrees F and raining). So I've been feeling and letting myself feel my sadness this day. I was told that anniversaries would trigger another "wave" of grief and it has. This too shall pass.

Sari Update

I talked to Charles a day or so ago and he says that Sari is settling right in on the farm. He says she shows a strong aversion to being in the house and she loves to romp around all their open land. I said that the aversion is probably due to all the time we had to keep her cooped up in our house while there was no one home.

He reports that they are extremely please that she gets along well their family members young and older alike. She gets along well with all their extended family who stop by to visit as well as all of their kids. He said she and the incumbent alpha-female have had a couple of fights. After the first fight one came away with a hurt paw and after the second fight the other came away with a hurt paw. So it seems that Sari and she have developed a mutual respect for each other and have called a truce. He said that Sari has formed friendships with younger males there and is just having a grand time.

I, in the mean time, am enjoying not having to worry about her needs for potty or companionship. The house does seem quieter and I'm adjusting fine to that.

I think we are both better off with this arrangement.

One less Volvo

I decided to donate the 940 to a charity. Selling it myself would have been a lot of hassle. And this way I'll get some tax credit when I file next year. Also, the charity plans to give it to a staff member who is need of transportation. So it really is a win-win move. I've not decided what to do with the 240 yet.

Mission Trip

I've been accepted to go with a group of folks from my church to Bosnia Herzegovina. We will be there from Jul 27, 2008 to Aug 04, 2008. The details of the trip are here. You'll be hearing more about it later...

A car that beeps!

[paraphrasing Mr Miagi:] "one beep, lock on; two beeps, lock off"

I now have a car that beeps! My sister sold me her former car. It is a great car. It is a 1998 Lexus ES 300. It's such an upgrade from the Volvos I have been driving. I will donate or sell the Volvos. They have been faithful servants to our family now for many years. But, it is time to move on. When I drive it now I have a new sensation that I've not felt since I owned a 280 ZX. I feel pushed back in my seat when I push on the gas. WoW! And it gets just as good of gas mileage as the Volvos. Thank you, Millie!

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day was a rough one. I have had trouble the last two or three weeks avoiding the "sea-of-red" isles in the stores. It was such a strong reminder of my loss. Next year it will be less so. This too shall pass.

St Joseph's Letter

A Letter expressing my feelings of the care we received

I composed a letter right after Trudie died. But just like Jesus says about plank in my own eye, I wanted to let it "marinade" and to clean out any of my own issues.

I ran it by many people and asked their opinion. Then I went into "I got to get it just perfect" mode. And so I fretted, I grieved, and I got scared. So I just put it aside.

This week I decided it was time to send it. Well, to he honest, I had some help from some friends who gave me a loving K.I.T.A. to get it done [definition: Kick In The ... you get the idea].

So today I made one or two minor tweaks, printed it, and now it is waiting in my outgoing mail. Is it perfect? Probably not; but it's the best I can do now.

You can read my St Joseph's Nursing Comments from Google Docs.

Relief

I'm glad to get it out the door. I don't know what is going to "hit the fan" but I'm not in control of that. I'm glad that I've done it and I hope it will help others who have loved ones admitted to St. Joseph's.

Dog Free!

Sari's new home

Yesterday I took Sari to Charles & Erline's. They are the breeders that Trudie had found that concentrated on temperament rather than show ability. They had graciously agreed to take Sari back.

Good for her, good for me

It is really is the best for both of us. Sari will have other dogs to play with and people around her all day. I don't have to keep relying on friends to come and let her out in the afternoon.

So it is the best for both of us. - And I am feeling a little sad. She was a pain in the ass to live with. She was demanding when I did come home. She wanted petting and she wanted petting NOW. But she was very cute and people were impressed at her beauty. And she had personality in spades. So I'll probably miss her more than I anticipated.

What about Yoshi?

I've had a couple of people ask about what happened to our other male dog, Yoshi.

You probably remember that he was having a hard time getting around during the Summer. We were even talking about building a ramp off the back deck for him. His hind legs didn't have much strength and we frequently had to help him get up by lifting his hips. Well, when Trudie came home from the physical rehab after her back surgery, she was using a walker. Trudie could get around but it was very tentatively. A time or two, Yoshi could not get out of Trudie's way. He started having trouble getting up on his front legs too. He started to be a almost a danger to Trudie.

Trudie had a heart-to-heart talk with a dear friend and realized that it was time for Yoshi to be put to sleep. She realized that Yoshi had lived a long (he was over 12 years old) and had a happy life with us. I told Trudie that her safety was more important than keeping Yoshi. So I took him to our vet's and they put him to sleep. That was a sad day too.