Tuesday, December 18, 2007

How Am I Doing?

Prelude

This is a follow on blog to the Bartkus Battle blog. I lost my dear wife Trudie on November 22nd after a battle against cancer. Jesus won. She is now a new bride of Christ with Him in Glory. This is a blog about my continuing journey in following where He will lead me. It has been and will continue to be an adventure.

Life Without Trudie

I'm doing OK. I had the week of the funeral off and now I'm back to work. It is pretty slow now so it is kind of nice.

I'm doing my best to take care of myself. I'm still keeping the H.A.L.T. (hungry, angry, lonely, or tired) at bay. I'm back to going to the gym at 5 AM three days a week. I'm going to meetings almost every night.

The house is a whole story in itself. Laura L. (Trudie's nephew's wife) came over Saturday with her landscaper-grade leaf blower and we got all the leaves off the roofs and gutters. She also made short order of the driveway, deck, and porch. I'm slowly attacking all the clutter. I've gotten rid of 90% of the magazines that had accumulated. Millie, Drew, and John took all Trudie's clothes to Goodwill for me. That helped a lot. But I also realize that a 4 BR 4.5 Bath house is way more than I need. I'll continue to SIMPLIFY as much as I can.

I've got friends who come and let Sari out three nights out of four that I work. That way I can go directly to a meeting from work. I think I'll eventually put Sari up for rescue. I'm not a "dog person." I like dogs; I can manage dogs; but I don't "need" a dog in my life. And taking care of her is a challenge right now. I am taking her to the park two or three times a week and I am enjoying walking the circuit with her. Making her walk at a heel lets the control freak in me out just a little bit.

In January I'm going to be part of a North Point pilot group doing the Grief Share material. They had closed registration for it but are graciously allowing me to join. I'm looking forward to it. I am definitely going through a grieving process. I've told myself that it's OK to feel sad; that's just to show how much I felt love for her. I'm leaning on Jesus when the sadness is strongest. He is stronger than the sadness.

I get to "work" at church this Sunday and after the last service I'll be driving to Millie & Drew's and we all will be there for Christmas. Avery, Lewis, and precious granddaughter Gracie will be there also. It will be a great time together.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Patrick,
I know Sari was a great part of Trudie's life and love and if you decide not to keep her please let her come back to Foxhaven to live out her life. She will be welcomed here.
Charles and Earlene

Anonymous said...

Patrick,
I know Sari was a great part of Trudie's life and love and if you decide not to keep her please let her come back to Foxhaven to live out her life. She will be welcomed here.
Charles and Earlene

Anonymous said...

Where is Yoshi? I remember you mentioned that Miklos died recently, but I couldn't find where you talked about Yoshi except that you were trying to get a ramp made for him to get in and out of the house...
Kathy

patrckb said...

Charles & Earline,

Thanks! I'll keep your offer in mind. I plan on having a whole blog entry to my quandry about Sari soon.

Kathy,

Yoshi, as you know, was elderly and couldn't get up on his hind legs very well. We helped him along as much as we could but he got to the point that his affliction caused him to be a danger for Trudie getting about the house. He went to Doggie Heaven in mid September.